In my childhood, there were a few characters from books that helped me not only find myself but accept myself for who I am-Autistic and quirky! One of them was Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling.
As a child who was often the outcast and the target of many bullies due to being "different", I identified with Luna. I loved that she accepted who she was and that, no matter what the bullies would do or say, she'd keep her chin up and use it to teach others or as a learning experience for herself. She never looked down on herself for being quirky and different. I loved that about her because, unlike myself, I couldn't get over being different, I wanted so desperately to be "normal".
The thing is, instead of being viewed as quirky, I was viewed as the weird child in school throughout my life and Luna embodied what I wanted so desperately to be. I felt like she was my best friend (I knew she was only a fictional character) but I felt like I understood her so much that I knew her personally. I would read and read and would tell myself that one day, just maybe, I would accept who I am and become like Luna.
Being Autistic, is just being myself. I am now 23 and have just barely grasped that, I was and still am very much like Luna with my characteristics. The only difference? I have now accepted myself. Thanks to the help of the Harry Potter Gane, I got through one of my deepest bouts of depression that I has as a child (as I also have PTSD).
I remember one day after school, after being bullied so much I just felt I had nothing to continue living for, I came home to a package on my bed. This heavy, bulky package. addressed to a Lady Arianna Nyswonger, from my favorite, loving, biggest Harry Potter Fan Uncle, was the seventh and final Harry Potter book. Through a stream of unending tears I opened that package,and grabbed the book. I stroked its binding and I remember telling myself, 'I can get through this, I know I can. Just one more year and I am done. Just like Harry and the gang and Luna, one more year.' It was my senior year and I was having a very rough time with it. I immediately opened the book and started reading, losing myself in its white pages and the gifted words of a fantastic storyteller. I soon forgot why I was so upset and the thought of "giving up" and just "ending myself" were completely lost within the typed out words. Harry and his story helped me, but Luna the help me the most. Anytime she'd show up in the book, I would get excited- it was someone who I could finally relate to. Luna was me!
Everyday, after school, I'd pick up the book and read. Through tears, I'd battle my own demons just through reading this book. Harry defeating Voldemort was me, defeating the person inside telling me to quit. It was me, defeating he bullies who constantly brought me down. It was me defeating myself, the part of my wanting to quit and die.
Hogwarts was my home during my childhood. I have been there since the beginning, and it's been there for me. It's helped me through my deepest, darkest times when I thought there was no hope. It gave me someone who I could relate to. It helped me accept me. And for that, I can never repay JK Rowling for. She gave me a safety zone, somewhere in my mind I could go to get away. She wrote a character that told me that people would accept me if I just would be me, that the haters can hate but they can't change you. She wrote a character that helped me become who I am today, a writer, an activist, a blogger and most importantly--- myself.
The thing is, instead of being viewed as quirky, I was viewed as the weird child in school throughout my life and Luna embodied what I wanted so desperately to be. I felt like she was my best friend (I knew she was only a fictional character) but I felt like I understood her so much that I knew her personally. I would read and read and would tell myself that one day, just maybe, I would accept who I am and become like Luna.
Being Autistic, is just being myself. I am now 23 and have just barely grasped that, I was and still am very much like Luna with my characteristics. The only difference? I have now accepted myself. Thanks to the help of the Harry Potter Gane, I got through one of my deepest bouts of depression that I has as a child (as I also have PTSD).
I remember one day after school, after being bullied so much I just felt I had nothing to continue living for, I came home to a package on my bed. This heavy, bulky package. addressed to a Lady Arianna Nyswonger, from my favorite, loving, biggest Harry Potter Fan Uncle, was the seventh and final Harry Potter book. Through a stream of unending tears I opened that package,and grabbed the book. I stroked its binding and I remember telling myself, 'I can get through this, I know I can. Just one more year and I am done. Just like Harry and the gang and Luna, one more year.' It was my senior year and I was having a very rough time with it. I immediately opened the book and started reading, losing myself in its white pages and the gifted words of a fantastic storyteller. I soon forgot why I was so upset and the thought of "giving up" and just "ending myself" were completely lost within the typed out words. Harry and his story helped me, but Luna the help me the most. Anytime she'd show up in the book, I would get excited- it was someone who I could finally relate to. Luna was me!
Everyday, after school, I'd pick up the book and read. Through tears, I'd battle my own demons just through reading this book. Harry defeating Voldemort was me, defeating the person inside telling me to quit. It was me, defeating he bullies who constantly brought me down. It was me defeating myself, the part of my wanting to quit and die.
Hogwarts was my home during my childhood. I have been there since the beginning, and it's been there for me. It's helped me through my deepest, darkest times when I thought there was no hope. It gave me someone who I could relate to. It helped me accept me. And for that, I can never repay JK Rowling for. She gave me a safety zone, somewhere in my mind I could go to get away. She wrote a character that told me that people would accept me if I just would be me, that the haters can hate but they can't change you. She wrote a character that helped me become who I am today, a writer, an activist, a blogger and most importantly--- myself.
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