I am Determined

I am determined...
I am determined to not let my illnesses control my life. Oh how difficult it is! Its got a tight grip on my life and I have not given it permission to have such a grip! But what am I supposed to do, when I must think about how something may affect me. How a trip to the store may make me hurt, how working might make me lose the very thing that allows me to have my medication, how I can't take classes on a college classes, I don't want my illness to control my life--- but how can you not when so much is at stake? No, I don't allow it to control how I feel about myself, I don't allow it to destroy certain opportunities. I hate that I have to all it to control what I do on a daily basis, that I have to question everything I do. But what can you do when the choice is hurt or not hurt?